Have you seen Eminem & Rihanna's music video for "Love the Way You Lie" ?
If you have not heard the song or seen the video - be prepared for some explicit language and an intense tale of domestic abuse amidst a whole load of flames. The video version of the song stars Lost star Dominic Monaghan and Transformers star Megan Fox.
I am actually a HUGE fan of this song. If you take away the hypnotic melody and cool beat, and can look past the cursing - lies the domestic violence cycle, in hip lyrics. It's a trendy stand on abuse, and it's about freaking time!
In my view Eminem is a kind of urban Shakespeare, in which he breaks down the cycle of domestic violence in rap poetic prose. And Rihanna's hauntingly sultry voice cuts in with the illiterating part of the trap of how and why an abused victim stays in this type of relationship, always holding onto the lies.
The video has been classified as glorifying abuse by casting pouty, sexy star Megan Fox, of course scantily clad with explosive make out scenes along side a pretty chiseled Dominic Monaghan. Rihanna and Eminem (in a cliche wife beater) also strut their stuff.
Yes, it has been glamorized and even Miss Suzie Q wished she looked that good while being tossed around, LOL. But seriously, it just pretty much guarantees the exposure of this video, and hence this message, our message, to stop Domestic Violence.
I jest, but sometimes you need some lightness to approach such a heavy subject such as abuse. The stats alone would wear you down and literally make you cry. Harder if you are a parent. But is this the way to go?
I think one of the biggest messages of all, is the fact that Rhianna is the other part of the duet. Kudos to her for not brushing her past under the rug, and choosing to make a stand. Albeit in her scantily clad leather shorts and high heeled boots, but a stand none the less. Showing that abuse transcends race, socio-economic, and class barriers. Perhaps that in itself is a message worth sending.
Is the platform or venue as important as the message? Is it possible that the tweens of this generation can see past the lipstick, and the low cut shirts and chiseled abs to hear the message?
Let's hope so. Perhaps we should be targeting this generation in a suitable media they would understand... Tailor the venue to target the audience. Most importantly, GET THE MESSAGE OUT.
Instead of attacking the scantily clad messengers, we should be promoting THE MESSAGE. But then again, there is no such thing as bad press - so they say. So perhaps the message is getting out anyway.
What are the chances of the next, next generation being Moron Free ? It's a nice thought. This girl might even don some lipstick and some hooker boots to get the message across... yeah, no, not so much.
What do you think?
20 comments:
Great post! I do not think the next generation will be abuse free, but maybe the stigma for abusers can be so bad that it significantly drops the rate. I love this song (radio version, without the swearing), it has a real message and I think people are hearing. I like that Rihanna does the song it sends another powerful message. Wake up world!
I LOVE Eminem, and think he really hit the nail on the head with this one (pardon the repeat from Facebook). I don't know who is saying that it's glamorizing abuse, but upon first seeing the video, that's not what I thought at all. I definitely saw it as a portrayal of domestic violence. But the song itself is SO spot on.
I certainly feel sorry for the kids today, the message especially for girls, is degrading....
I am not a big fan of the song...maybe at the end if she left him, then I'd like it but I don't know...there's just something about it. It reminds me a lot of the cases I have in my court with domestic abuse where the parents go in and out of relationships over and over again and the kids are so affected. It just kind of upsets me to hear it...maybe I'm a little biased in what I do, but that's just me.
Thank you all for your comments.
Alaina, to me, unfortunately, this is life, and the cycle of abuse is a hard one to break. The reality is that an abused woman leaves her husband on average 4-5 times before it is for good. I believe this shows the reality. Not what it should be, but what unfortunately what is. Her going back to him in the end, is just that - realistic. If you could see the whole cycle played out infront of you, instead of living just each moment at a time, perhaps an abused victim would stay gone ? Just a thought....
I was separated from my husband when this song came out a couple months ago. He called to tell me to check it out. Neither of us could deny the similarities to this twisted song and our day to day relationship. Yet, here I sit - back in his house... back in the cycle.
I always thought I'd be the last woman on earth to stay in an abusive relationship. Anyone who ever knew me before the 1st one would tell you the same. Unfortunately, there's more than one cycle at play here: the cycle of abuse and the cycle that leads me to my next abuser. It's happened to me more than twice. It's no longer a coincidence - it's a pattern.
In any case, I think Eminem and Rhianna's song has a powerful message. Watching the video for the first time just a minute ago brought tears to my eyes. Like you, however, I just wish I looked as good as Megan Fox while being set on fire. Also, I hope that one day the fire lit is the one under my ass - and I can break both cycles in which I participate.
I actually think that Rihanna is the perfect person to sing this song. My interpretation of her lyrics are that she she is an abused victim who is fighting amidst being in the middle of the abuse cycle. "that's ok, because I like the way it hurts" I don't believe means she actually likes the way it hurts, i think she is speaking to how alot of people feel about abuse victims - if they wanted to leave they would, that the choose to stay and be beaten. They are unaware of the cycle of abuse and how there is a wall built up around her, and all the complexities surrounding leaving including the very fear of death. Love this post Miss Suzie Q :)
I also think that if this song has done anything, it's been to open eyes to the fact that the relationship one may be in is abusive. The song helps to label these types of thought processes and behaviors as abusive in one way or another. I didn't know I was in an abusive relationship until I read a book that confirmed my suspicion. If this song would have been out then, maybe I would have realized it sooner.
It is degrading, it unfortunately also is reality. And sometimes reality isn't pretty.
This made me sad when I read it, Kalicapps. I was there... I hope you find whatever you need to realize that you are a beautiful person and worth so much more than this. There are people around to help should you ask. Me being one of them.
Thank you, Kelly.
I too was the last to know. Funny how that is....
Yes, I really hope people are getting the message. It would be great, however if these guys promoted it further by doing some sort of related message against domestic violence. I heard that Megan Fox allegedly donated what she would have gotten to make this video to a local woman's shelter. I hope that is true - and good on her if it is so!
Thank you very much for your comment. I believe that doing your job must be very hard, and seeing the sad stories first hand and pretty much negativity day in day out must be difficult. I applaud your efforts.
I value everyone's opinion, and thank you for yours.
To me, unfortunately, this is life, and the cycle of abuse is a hard one to break. The reality is that an abused woman leaves her husband on average 4-5 times before it is for good. I believe this shows the reality. Not what it should be, but what unfortunately what is. Her going back to him in the end, is just that - realistic. If you could see the whole cycle played out infront of you, instead of living just each moment at a time, perhaps an abused victim would stay gone ? Just a thought....
On a brighter note.....ooooh, the BIG day is fastly approaching, you must be getting sooooooo excited :)
Looking forward to hearing all about it and seeing the amazing photos of both the wedding and Ireland (if you choose to post them on your blog).
I guess we can only hope that the message gets across...
I agree with you Chaplain Donna, and one can only hope..
I agree Suzie! I don't see how this video promotes a healthy view of relationships!
Thanks for enlightening me on the song. I rarely have time to listen to music. But, I miss it. Let alone see the meaning in some of these songs. Now, I like the song a lot. It does send a message. It is making a statement. I just hope the young people are "getting" the message. great post! Love your blog!
I am just glad someone is speaking up about that song/video! Seriously, people? Is this what we want our young people to aspire to for love?
This song gave me so much insight into abusive relationships. I feel like I understand a friend of mine so much better now. Abuse is such an ugly thing, and from the outside the solution seems so simple. But on the inside, the lies are just so addictive.
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