Monday, October 8, 2012

Happy THanksgiving Everyone

Well, I've had my fill of mashed potatoes and birds with gravy.  Our traditional Thanksgiving baseball is now in full swing and my thoughts turn to what I am thankful for this year...

1. Family.  The Lil Pixie and I are an extremely tight knit duo, and she has blossomed into this most amazing little person.  I cant imagine my time here without her, and feel so blessed to have her in my life and my heart.  Of course my other family is dear to me as well, and thankful to be spending time with them.  Nothing like family to make you loved and walk down memory lane...

2. Friends.  This year I have made some of the best and closest friends.  Its been awhile as I have made the move and I think I have felt a little closed off.  But I am pleased to say that I feel full and blessed in that department ;)

3.  My new Guy.  Yes, Miss Suzie Q has found herself one of the most sweetest, kindest, most gentle man she has ever met.  One day I will share with you, our story.  Still in the beginnings of it, and still getting used to the idea.  But he has become such an important part of my daily life, and has helped to mend my heart and pieces of my soul.  And before I get really mushy, I am going to stop.  Lets just say that perhaps things really do happen for a reason, and I am now understanding the words; the best is yet to come....

Hope Everyone has enjoyed their turkey day, and if yours is still to come, Happy Early Thanksgiving!

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

A Lesson Learned - with a side of gravy...

Who else here loves food?  And with Thanksgiving just around the corner, I have been thinking about food alot.  Food and the things we need to live.  Survival.  Plants need food, water, sun, to live, as the Lil Pixie always tells me.  We need shelter, food and water.  But there is a difference between surviving and living.  When our lives are in crisis, and our world is in chaos and turmoil, survival is all we can afford to expend our energy on.  Merely surviving from one moment to the next.  This type of living can last for years.  And it takes its toil.  It takes its toil on your body, mind, spirit and heart.  Once you are able to move past crisis, and assess the trauma, it may take awhile to get back on the road of just plain living - as survival mode has become such an habitual way of life.  But there is a point where you must incorporate other things into your living plan.  Love and wants.  They too have their purpose.  They too increase your survival.

Although their are definite distinctions between wants and needs, especially in terms of my monthly budget ;) You have to make room to allow yourself some wants.  Spoil yourself, indulge in a few little splurges every now and again.  Live.  Love.  Enjoy.  I can remember when after leaving the Moron, money was beyond tight, and EVERYTHING was an indulgence.  Milk, oreos, fresh fruit....all these would be bought sparingly, and generally only indulged by the Lil Pixie.  Because that's what we, as mothers do.  I now allow myself a little indulgence for us both every once and awhile. 

My favourite food is mashed potatoes.  And my mother still makes the best darned mashed potatoes.  This thanksgiving, i will be adding gravy to them as a declaration that I am worth it, that i am out of the survival stage and have gotten down to the point of truly living...

Friday, August 17, 2012

Strength is not born of winning, but of struggle

Strength is not born of winning, but of struggle. When we look back at our lives, and see the landscape of our path behind us, the hills and the valleys are sometimes etched in sweat and heartache. Some of those tough roads are what forged our way to the place we are today, and the people we have become. Our struggles, in turn are what define us. When the road is light, and the going is uncomplicated, it is easy. Life is effortless and easy. It is when times turn difficult that we find out what we, and those around us are really made of. It is that strength that keeps us going, that is the truth of who we are. It is those choices that we make during those times of need and hardship, that defines the core of our being. The strength and will to keep fighting, for another day.

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Balancing Act

Balancing Mommyhood, Moronfree living, Domestic Abuse Advocate, and Blogger are becoming harder for me.  Each one pulling on the other, each one wanting its own time.

I am struggling with them, but please know, I will try to do better in the blogosphere notion...

Sunday, May 13, 2012

And To You, A Moronfree Mother's Day

When you become a mother, nobody can fully explain to you how you are going to feel. No one can fully explain to you the sheer magnitude of joy you feel from the very first moment the connection is made with that child, nor the the heart wrenching agony you will feel when your child is in pain, and there is nothing you can do to help. No one can fully explain the levels of protection you feel, nor the depths you are willing and therefore capable of going, to protect that child from harm. Victims of domestic violence feel this on such an urgent, and often daily level. And no matter how safe they are told they are, no one can ever imagine the true fear that is felt when someone tells you that they will kill you and/or take away your children. This fear becomes one with you, and although you may be able to move on and live a seemingly product life, that fear is always with you.

For those that stay in the relationship, it is often their vision of protection, as the system would indoubtably leave their children often more exposed to violence or worse. For those brave mothers, their choice to stay – though seen as one of weakness – is often one of great strength of shielding.

On this Mother’s Day, I would like to wish all Mothers a safe and happy Moronfree day. Especially to those who are still in amongst the war.

Monday, January 30, 2012

My 2012 Word of the year is STRENGTH

Looking back at my life, I notice many of my strengths and weaknesses over time.  Many of what I may consider my strengths some may consider a weakness - but it is my opinion that matters.

I have many strengths, and one of them is my own strength.  This is something to which for some reason is always downplayed.  Mostly by me.

I feel stronger than I have been in a long, long time, and not only physically (and I have my kickboxing to thank for that) but emotionally too.  Yet the woman I envision, still is in the distance. Which is good, because where would we be if we didn't have to reach for our goals?

This year I plan to draw on that strength, and own it.  For so many years I was living from a place of FEAR.  I think it's about time that I live from a place of STRENGTH.  And that is what I am choosing to focus on this year.  My strength.

Have you picked a word for 2012?

Saturday, December 31, 2011

Another Year Down...

As this year comes to a close, it is only natural to ponder all that has transpired. Life has its own way of putting you on the path you were meant to be on. With knowledge, a bit of wisdom and understanding, you can look back at some of the trials and tribulations and realize the meaning that they have provided in your life. Some of my darkest days, have provided me with the most clarity – when I have been open and able to see it. They have provided me with the thankfulness and graciousness of the life I am starting to build. Surrounded by friends and family, I feel true happiness and am blessed by all that I have been given.

With my new job helping victims of domestic violence, I feel I have been given a powerful venue to assert my newly strengthened voice. And just perhaps this is where my life had been leading me all along…

This year has been a year of change for me. Unfortunately, change is rarely done without a fight nor welcomed with open arms, but I have welcomed it this year, for I feel I am becoming the Suzie I was meant to be.  And I feel like the luckiest person alive to have the front row seat of watching the Lil Pixie grow into the amazing person she is supposed to be.  We have become such a powerful team, her and I.

I hope you have enjoyed the holidays with your friends and family - they are truly the important ones. I wish Joy, Peace and Goodness to all of you in 2012.  And I would like to take this opportunity to thank all of you who read and support this blog.  It has become a real important part of my life, and from all of the letters that I receive I have made a small difference in some of your lives.  What all of you may fail to realize, is how much of an impact you have made in mine.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all of your love and support.  Together we can end domestic violence and teach those around us that abuse does not have to be tolerated, there is another way.
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