Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Birthday Gifts From a Moron

Birthdays were always times I looked forward to. I mean who doesn't love parties, the cake, and of course - the presents!! I think that was why my Moron decided to ruin every single birthday that I had whilst knowing him. Looking back, the man probably made it his mission to systematically screw up or destroy every ounce of joy, my birthday could possibly produce - since I enjoyed them that much.

This may sound paranoid on my part, but looking back, and knowing the true Moron (not the one I fell in love with, but the one that was really there) that would be something he would do. Can you imagine living that kinda existence? Can you imagine all the energy and negativity balled up in you to focus so greatly on systematically shattering someones life? Almost makes me feel sorry for the guy. Almost.

Let me give you a rundown of the top three birthday gifts I received while sharing destroying my life with this Moron.

1. Nothing (this was actually quite popular, and it doubled as the stand by for Christmas gifts too)
2. A washing machine hose (I believe this one was so we he could hook up the washing machine to run only cold water to save the most precious of things - $$$)
3. A sprinkler (with the $9.99 price tag intact)

Classy, eh?  It's a good thing I am not materialistic.... although, had I been, I might have saved myself a decade of torture, and would have had mountains of expensive gifts to quell my sorrows...

Funny thing, still had fun on my birthday - just pissed him off even more! Had my little "woe is me" moments, but I usually came around. NOW, they are back to their glorious splendor :)

What are some of the worst birthday gifts you have received?

28 comments:

viewfromdownhere said...

ummm...a washing machine hose? Really? Wow, that's pretty bad. I can't say I've had any really bad gifts, even with the moron I was with. Good for you for still treating yourself well on your birthday though..you deserve it!

Doreen Lombardo said...

Let's see. My moron gave me gifts, but he was cheap. So instead of getting the "nice" gift, he'd get the ok one. I wasn't used to that. I always got the "nice" gift growing up. Now, before I sound like a snob, let me add, he was cheap with everyone else, but himself. You see, for himself, he'd buy the "nice" things and the things he THOUGHT were the best or most expensive. If it was for anyone but him, he'd go the cheap route. Sadly, what he THOUGHT was the best or most expensive, really wasn't, all it was was the "nice" gift, the one most people in an upper middle class lifestyle would go for.

Example: A stereo. He'd buy for me the cheap no name $500 stereo. He'd buy for himself the well-known brand name $1,500 stereo. Now mind you this was back in the 80's. So I know now that sounds like pocket change, but then, it was much more. Now in his mind, the brand name $1,500 stereo was the cat's meow. Sadly, unbeknownst to him, while it was the "nice" one, it was NOT all that and certainly one could have spent thousands more and on other brand names he'd never heard of. That's simply an example.

When he found out that when I was 12 my parents bought me a stereo, of a good brand name he'd never even knew about, which cost more then in the 70's than his $1,500, he was beside himself and crazed. Not that it was told to him personally, it was in conversation one day when discussing stereos in a group of people.

He was cheap, cheap, cheap. If we would go to dinner with another couple and they picked up the tab, no argument from him. The next time we'd go, do you think he'd offer to pick up the tab, hell no. I had to do it. He was going to split it. Grrrr. I had to say, "no, we have it."

Luckily, with my boyfriend after him, whom I was with for a very long time, things were so different. He was the most generous man on the planet. So is my current boyfriend.

Not to mention, both of the men after him were loving, honest, caring and sane, unlike him.

Suzie Q said...

Morons, are well, such Morons. Glad you have moved onward and upward!

Suzie Q said...

Way to go Doreen!!!! Love it!

Suzie Q said...

Oh Sherri, you totally crack me up!! And I can actually picture you right now!!!

Suzie Q said...

Thank you for your kind words. Unfortunately he is still kicking up my life and every turn possible - as he will always be the father of our child. But unfortunately they are just pathetic attempts at deluded self preservation.

Suzie Q said...

You never know :)

Suzie Q said...

Sadly I think he tried really hard to find himself an instant family, in order to appear better to the community and to the courts. Which means not only is there another woman, but other small children as well...

Suzie Q said...

Yes, giving to him, I believe, meant that he owed me, in his eyes. Ironically, so was taking, in his eyes ...

Suzie Q said...

I figured that :)

Suzie Q said...

Well, if you don't laugh you cry, and I am done with crying over this Moron. He actually gave me alot. And one of them is the strength and courage to look back on my life with insight to write these posts and perhaps help someone else. Take the good from the bad - and make it worthwhile.

Suzie Q said...

Yes, #1 was the go to gift unless he got inspired :)

daisy said...

Oops....I meant HE wasn't just cheap......

Kelly said...

Just found your blog, and I'm loving reading it. also, wow--those are pretty bad gifts! And you're right, it is really really sad when a person makes it his mission to destroy someone else's life ... especially the person who he's supposed to love most in the world. That's awful. You are amazing to be able to look back at that now and laugh at parts of it!

Kay said...

No bad gifts, just no gifts at all.

Annieflower69 said...

Oh dear Suzie....he sounds like a very unhappy troubled man. I wasn't just cheap....he was not well.....giving was hard for him.

Doreen Lombardo said...

Sadly, most often, leopards don't change their spots. If he did it to you, he will do it to her as the saying goes.

Doreen Lombardo said...

You've inspired me! Great Blog.

http://manicmondays123.blogspot.com/2010/09/i-read-great-blog.html

Chaplain Donna said...

This post is really sad. This guy was a real jerk! I hope that God is changing him the same way He is healing you. I hate to think he is doing this to another woman.

Chaplain Donna said...

sometimes it is difficult to see the humor. I think I get more angry than anything.

Tyla said...

Were you married to someone related to my in-laws? Sounds way too familiar. My husband's grandmother actually gave me a bottle of Softsoap for Christmas once. http://tireswingsandfireflies.blogspot.com/2010/05/100-facts-about-me-volume-deuce-21.html

My husband has gotten a little better over the years, but it's taken 22 of them LOL

Love your blog. Funny stuff!

The Corner Girl said...

I hope you never again recieve such lame gifts from anyone. Those are not much worse than a shoebox full of dog sh**.
I'm glad you had a great birthday, and don't even worry about what he's thinking of you- he's not part of your life anymore, and he doesn't deserve to hold even the smallest compartment in your thoughts and heart!

sherristakes said...

hey you got presents like i did! i got a soldering iron once... oh and 5 qts of oil... and let's see, a compressor... big difference is that he wasn't cheap, but all my gifts were really for him.

my defense? i went out and bought my own gifts, wrapped them and everything. I would make a huge production of opening them up, tearing into them actually... reading the card... and making some snarky comment "oh that sherri! she just loves me so much! how thoughtful of her!" LOL

Suzie Q said...

Yeah, he was a real winner :)

Kelly said...

Yep, He sounds like a winner :) Mine liked to do # 1 - nothing at all, liked that so much got it for every occasion, really, LOL!!!

Marianne Hartsfield said...

I received a dozen red roses once, but it wasn't for my birthday. It was for our anniversary. He was deployed (Navy)... 12yrs. ago. I later found out that all the guys on the ship sent their loved ones flowers via the FTD site.

I can't say I've ever gotten anything for my birthday or any special occasion since. I forget why I'm still married to a moron.

Suzie Q said...

Well I am hoping you are getting showered with gifts now!!!

Suzie Q said...

Well, something beautiful once, is better than nothing at all ... perhaps you
will remember why, or not?!?!?!



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