Monday, August 23, 2010

My Beautiful Beach Wedding - Despite the Moron

So off we went to Mexico. I think a part of me kept hoping for a LOUD and DISTINCT sign that this was a mistake. But no plane crash, no hurricanes, no guests dropping from heart attacks...

It was however a beautiful ceremony, on an absolutely beautiful beach, at a beautiful resort. I am very glad we decided to go this way. Had we had a typical wedding ceremony, I would not have been able to look back on it with fondness. In this case however, there was no "real" hassles (which meant fewer BIG fights) and I could enjoy the sun, the surf, and being with family :)

Probably to the outside world, we looked like a cute, happy couple, getting married on a beautiful beach, surrounded by our loved ones... Ah, to have seen my life thru someone else's eyes...

The ceremony itself was in Spanish, and was translated (rather roughly). Absolutely beautiful. Though, I think it lessened the impact of our union. Looking back, somehow, I think the gravity of the situation was lost in translation. It didn't really seem real, and didn't really seem like a big deal. Because I believe it should be a BIG deal. It is a very important step, and a super intimate bond that is forming.

And as I looked at my Moron, sweat beading from his brow, I didn't feel that impact. I just felt the sun...


I was determined to enjoy those two wonderful weeks there, and I must say I am incredibly resilient, and have an amazing capacity for viewing the world as half full!! Oh, and can't forget my old friend denial, she kept me company, here and for many years after.

My Moron was a moody sort, but I had lots of places to see and people to go with :) And did I mention the food??? To die for! Had lots of that, as there was little happening in the bedroom - if you know what I mean!!! I can be creative with excuses, but somehow stupidly thought this trip, our union, would spice up my desire... not in the least.

I learned later on in life, that loss in sex drive is a very familiar side effect of abuse. And has more to do with your partner than you. If Morons only knew this... they just may change their ways :) Well, probably not...

Money is, and probably will always be, the most important priority in my Morons life, sadly. And eventhough it was my parents who paid for our vacation (our wedding present) I was on a strict budget, and could not buy anything without his permission. But he was an unworldly sort, and didn't know that credit cards worked everywhere ;)

So my beach wedding was beautiful, and the trip still holds some very good memories for me. The Moron however, is in very few of them, amazingly. Funny how that is! The Moron also took all memories of this day (photo albums, wedding DVD, etc) when he left. Why? My best guess is that it held many photos that I had no duplicates of, as they were of and from my family. Vindictiveness rages strong in a Moron.

21 comments:

viewfromdownhere said...

Ugh, that makes me sick that he took those...what an ass. My sister's ex-husband did that to her, too...he deleted all of the pictures of their daughter's 1st year on their camera before she could download them. Every memory...gone.

You know, you should take a trip back to Mexico with friends or something...just enjoy yourself and try to make new, better memories!

Kelly said...

Yes, vindictive they are :) But now you are rid of him, or more or less so... ANd it looks like you got the better end of the deal :)

Being Me said...

Naive, viewing with rose-tinted glasses.. that's common,

My moron(actually I have worse words for him) took away all the photographs too - me and the kids.. managed to hide some away, and thank goodness my parents have some of them.
He's destructive and vindictive and childish.

Sarah said...

Oooh I really like the idea of taking another trip there, Moron-free!
It sounds like a beautiful place and you can make lasting memories there and replace the old ones!

Stormy said...

I agree with Sara ~ another trip "Moron-free" would do you good!

I married my Moron at the young age of 21, and left his sorry ass at age 28, when my daughter was 2 yrs old.

On our wedding day, he got drunk and unruly and tossed his ring outside somewhere (i found out from his BF later.)

Leaving his sorry ass was the best thing I have ever done!

Multi-Ainjo said...

I also agree with the Mexico trip moron-free, although it sounds like besides the whole wedding thing you were pretty much moron-free. lol:-)

Kerry McCullough said...

Hi there! Following you from blog frog. Looking forward to reading :)

Mine is http://www.nestingwithniall.blogspot.com. Stop by any time!

Rachel C. said...

My moron wept like a leaky faucet all through the ceremony. From the moment I took his hand, until the time we sealed the union with a kiss. Oh, could this really be the MAN of my dreams?! At one point in the ceremony I had to locate a tissue to wipe one large, unmissable tear dangling from the tip of his snot-dripping nose. I don't think this is the sort of thing that's supposed to inspire the fabled blush in a bride.

If that wasn't enough to convince me that the marriage was doomed before the honeymoon was over, his genuine PRIDE at having our cruise's bar tab stretching taller than him was more than enough to put the cork in that bottle of "what the F was I thinking".

daisy said...

Oh my dear Suzie.

I feel for you. You were where I was 10 years ago....and now you are at the stage I was 5 years ago..... Still a ways to go.

Since recovering from my experience I have been working with abuse victims to help them through to complete recovery. The key word is complete. It is possible.

You have inspired me to start my own blog, though maybe not for the reasons you think. Thank you for the inspiration....it's a great way to spread the word.

D

Doreen Lombardo said...

Funny you should mention hurricanes. I think someone was trying to tell me something. LOL


Read my story here: http://manicmondays123.blogspot.com/2010/09/where-were-you.html

Doreen Lombardo said...

Oh, your Moron and mine would get along well. I have nothing at all to do with my moron thankfully.

Mexico is beautiful and luckily for me, I've been there many times, but not with my moron, with a man who I loved very much and whom loved me very much. I have all the pictures and all the memories.

My moron used to attempt to control, and yes, mostly with money. Ummmm, moron seemed to forget, when we met, I was earning MORE than him, duh. LOL He never did or could control me, I was way too wise for that, and like you, simply outsmarted him every which way there was. That included, sadly, a bank account he knew nothing about. You see, my moron, thought he was smarter than anyone on the planet. The ONLY PERSON who agreed with him, was him. He was easily outsmarted, mostly by me, but even by the kids and my family when necessary. My moron's favorite saying was "my way or the highway." Guess you know which one I chose. I love how he used to swear I'd never make it without him. Hmmmmm, I think I've done pretty darn well since I left his stupid butt, not to mention I did darn well before I met him.

My moron was and is very good at fooling people. So good that no one, I mean no one, guessed what a true moron he was/is. He is so good, his current wife had me to warn him and she didn't believe me.

Let's just say, leopards don't change their spots. Same as with me, once they were married, it was like he was a different person. Somehow, he took marriage as ownership. He's extremely insecure and that was probably made much worse my my fierce confidence. He also didn't like my outgoingness and that people liked me.

Well, sorry you lost your pictures. My moron did some stupid stuff like that too. No biggie. He kept expensive decorative plates given to me by my mom for my daughter. Mom simply bought her new, more expensive plates, worth more and prettier which I promptly put up in her room when I bought my condo. So he had the ones that weren't worth as much, good for him. LOL I know pictures are different, but, he has some of those too. It's not like you and I don't have any pictures of our family or friends from that time though. I have plenty of my wedding pictures, I simply cut his ugly face out of them and just keep myself. If I must say so myself, I made a gorgeous bride and wore a hand-made gown made for me by my mom!

Suzie Q said...

I think the Mexico trip and my daughter are the best parts of that marriage!! Great post, Doreen!!! Wow, so glad you survived Gloria!!!

Suzie Q said...

I sure did, thanx Kelly!

Suzie Q said...

Yes, and very unoriginal. I think they follow a little Moron Handbook!

Suzie Q said...

I just may have to do that one day!!

Suzie Q said...

Yep, My Moron's sorry ass was much more suited for the curb!!!!

Suzie Q said...

Yep, as I said, I actually can look back on that trip rather fondly :)

Suzie Q said...

Thank you.

Suzie Q said...

I am glad I could be of some inspiration :) Good luck with your blog!

Suzie Q said...

Oh Rachel, I would like to thank you for the smile and chuckle your response gave me. I really needed it today :)
Yes, my Moron is such a prize...maybe one you find in the bottom of a moldy crackerjack box...what did we ever see in them?

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