It was however a beautiful ceremony, on an absolutely beautiful beach, at a beautiful resort. I am very glad we decided to go this way. Had we had a typical wedding ceremony, I would not have been able to look back on it with fondness. In this case however, there was no "real" hassles (which meant fewer BIG fights) and I could enjoy the sun, the surf, and being with family :)
Probably to the outside world, we looked like a cute, happy couple, getting married on a beautiful beach, surrounded by our loved ones... Ah, to have seen my life thru someone else's eyes...
The ceremony itself was in Spanish, and was translated (rather roughly). Absolutely beautiful. Though, I think it lessened the impact of our union. Looking back, somehow, I think the gravity of the situation was lost in translation. It didn't really seem real, and didn't really seem like a big deal. Because I believe it should be a BIG deal. It is a very important step, and a super intimate bond that is forming.
And as I looked at my Moron, sweat beading from his brow, I didn't feel that impact. I just felt the sun...
I was determined to enjoy those two wonderful weeks there, and I must say I am incredibly resilient, and have an amazing capacity for viewing the world as half full!! Oh, and can't forget my old friend denial, she kept me company, here and for many years after.
My Moron was a moody sort, but I had lots of places to see and people to go with :) And did I mention the food??? To die for! Had lots of that, as there was little happening in the bedroom - if you know what I mean!!! I can be creative with excuses, but somehow stupidly thought this trip, our union, would spice up my desire... not in the least.
I learned later on in life, that loss in sex drive is a very familiar side effect of abuse. And has more to do with your partner than you. If Morons only knew this... they just may change their ways :) Well, probably not...
Money is, and probably will always be, the most important priority in my Morons life, sadly. And eventhough it was my parents who paid for our vacation (our wedding present) I was on a strict budget, and could not buy anything without his permission. But he was an unworldly sort, and didn't know that credit cards worked everywhere ;)
So my beach wedding was beautiful, and the trip still holds some very good memories for me. The Moron however, is in very few of them, amazingly. Funny how that is! The Moron also took all memories of this day (photo albums, wedding DVD, etc) when he left. Why? My best guess is that it held many photos that I had no duplicates of, as they were of and from my family. Vindictiveness rages strong in a Moron.
