Denial
Denial is quite the amazing thing. I think there are uses for denial, because I believe at this stage we are getting ready to act to do something. At the denial stage we have not let our consciousness know what is exactly up, as there is FEAR of repercussions. There is FEAR that something has got to change. Something needs to be different. Difference and change can be very scary things, and sometimes our subconscious self knows that we are not quite ready do deal with these… and we stay in that denial place until we are ready to do the work. Until we are stronger and fortified enough to plough through whatever we need to, to come out the other end of the change that needs to happen.
I believe our Authentic selves each owns a map and compass to our lives. The trick is being in tuned with her to read them. The denial stage is like a BIG waiting room, and we can sit around and read many good books, and meet interesting peoples here, but we have work to do, and it doesn’t get done in the waiting room. Your Authentic Self knows there is work to do, she even knows what you are supposed to do, and how you are supposed to do it!! They key is to be open to listening. And this isn’t always easy!
18 comments:
Retrospect is crazy. While you are in it, you call it all sorts of things that aren't the ugly truth. After you've left it, you know that it's plain ol' denial.
Much truth.
Yeah, denial is a tough one...I've been there, done that. It's hard to face the truth sometimes because the truth is sometimes the one thing you don't want to hear.
Denial is a killer and it takes great strength to blow it up and away. Letting go of denial comes in stages. Learning to find your authentic self is the only thing that fills the space coming out of denial leaves.
Wow. Just...wow. I think I am you. Or you are me. I'm just American. My ex-"moron" has a special name. I refer to him as "The Sphincter" in front of anyone except our children. I prayed everyday of my pregnancies that my kids would not be like him, and WHEW! That's all I can say! I'm free at last, but there were a few concussions, police calls, skull fractures and waving firearms before I was able to do it. I love this blog.
I really liked this post. I am currently separated from my Moron. The hard part is that we have a 3 year old and a 5 month old. I know what I have to do and how much work it is going to be is terrifying. Knowing it's going to get a lot worse before it gets any better is making me feel totally paralyzed. I hope reading more of your story will inspire me to finally take the steps towards independence. Thanks for sharing.
Your insight and ability to express it continues to be inspiring.
Thank you so much for the support, where were all of you when I was going thru it, lol!!!!
Yup, I was lucky... I got rid of my Morons before I had kids... so much easier on everybody. However, it took soooo long to get rid of the MORONS (and yes, that is a plural, I'm a bit slow at learning lessons)... that it was too late to have those kids.
DON'T WAIT TOO LONG to get rid of a bad guy. Your time is too precious.
Luckily I now live with a GENIUS and my life is pretty good!!!!
Reading your blog is like reading the blog I wish I was at the point I could write.
It will come...
Yes, just like that mirror we never want to look into....
So with you on that one!!!!
Oh so very wise and true :)
This made me laugh out loud!!! I am glad that you are out. I am glad that you are able to live the life you deserve, as well as your kids :)
Ties that bind you to a Moron are the toughest - because they use them as leverage and pawns in their sick little games. I wish you strength and courage and good legal counsel :)
Thank you. That means more than you will know...
Thank you so much for the support, where were all of you when I was going thru it, lol!!!!
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