Monday, June 28, 2010

The Moron Code

There are many different types of abusers morons, and a lot of us don't even know that we are with one of them. Until we are hooked, and the patterns have been set.

Morons thrive on weaknesses, they are like cattle who walk that fence line until they find that hole or chink in the armour. Then they go for it. They hit you below the belt, then while you are off balance, find some way to blame you for your fall. Then comes the flowers and offers of forgiveness. And then the cycle continues again. Every time, something just a little different to throw you off enough not to be able to expect it, and that way you are forced to walk on eggshells. Focusing your energy on trying to avoid the next blow up, instead of saying WTF???

Morons are king manipulators and master weavers. Weaving in and out of the truth and deception. Smoke and mirrors are a moron's tools, conjuring up stories and making you feel like you are the one going crazy, continuously keeping you off balance and looking in the other direction.

Morons are cowards. And must strike you down to make themselves feel better. This of course is usually a long and drawn out process, otherwise you would be on to them. Slowly stripping away, little by little, the best parts of you.

Morons isolate you from your friends and family, and make you dependant on them. It makes them feel important and worthwhile, meanwhile forces you to give up some more control to them.

Morons tell you one thing but do the opposite.
Remember this always:  Actions DO speak louder than words...(a useful moron spotter).

The moron's energy is fear. And they use yours against you, shamelessly.

Morons are people too. They look like me and you, and are often thought of as "a great guy".

Morons were morons before they met you, you did not cause them to be, nor turn them into morons. Perhaps their past has played a large role in turning them into morons, perhaps it's a conscious decision on their part, perhaps it's the only way they know of interacting. Just know they are choosing their paths, as you are choosing yours.
If you are with a moron, there is hope for you. But YOU have to make the decision to stop the pattern.
If you are a moron, there is hope for you. But YOU have to make the decision to stop the pattern.

When you know better you do better.

I am glad to say, I now know better, even though I may be a slow learner...

34 comments:

viewfromdownhere said...

Man, you are totally describing my ex brother in law...you sure he and your ex aren't related? Everyone says "oh he's a great guy," but I know better after what he did to my sister. The important thing is you know now, right?

Natasha said...

Am I wrong, or did the title used to be something else? Did you change it? I feel really stupid if this is what it's always been.

Suzie Q said...

Nope Natasha, always has been "I Married a Moron - And Survived" :)

Kelly said...

You have received a blog award....
Blog Award
I am a Huge fan!!!!

Hannah said...

Too, true!

Amelyssa said...

I just ended a 6 year entrapment with such a moron, thank you for posting this.

Kimberly said...

Once again you had me laughing!

Stop by my blog to pick up an award!
All the best,
Kim

http://amoroccan-acat-and-my-bigass.blogspot.com/2010/06/more-awards_29.html

cathyjoy said...

wow...if i didn't know that my ex-moron has never been remarried i'd think you were talkin bout the same asstard!!!

Natasha said...

Dang, well it's still a very insightful and interesting blog. Keep writing!

This Mom said...

Hi there! Just found you through FMIC and I'm your newest follower.

Your story is drawing me in...I'm going to read through your past posts now!

Happy belated Canada Day!

Kate @ This Mom Loves

Ms. Understood said...

I had a whopper of an abuser/moron. He never hit me, but he was manipulative, mentally abusive and emotionally abusive. It was actually afraid of him because he was the type to carry guns (last "bad boy" I ever dated). I had to essentially wait until he dumped me to escape and escape I did. I sold my house and moved.

verbalabuseisreal said...

Susie Q, you are a riot, and someone after my own heart! I found you because you started following my blog, and now I'm a huge fan of yours! It's true that as horrifying an experience as life with a "moron" can be, the only way I managed to salvage my self esteem and sparkly spirit was to keep a sense of humor about the fact that no matter what these abusive types say, it's THEM and not US! I love your outlook and style and can't wait to read through more of the previous stuff. Thanks for finding me -- I feel like I've stumbled into a whole nest of new friends!

Suzie Q said...

This Mom, Thank you, and belated Canada Day to you too :)
Ms. Understood, don't underestimate the destruction of emotional abuse, it is deadly too, just a more invisible kind of pain. You should be proud of leaving, you did that, you made the concious effort to do what you had to do to survive. And it is SURVIVAL, only those who have been under the oppression of abuse can truly understand. And that fear can be invoked without the raising of a hand. I am glad you are free.
Verbalabuseisreal, thank you for your compliments, i am blushing. I hope you are well :)

Manzanita said...

Many more women understand this Narcissistic abuse now because it's out of the closet. Wave your flag for freedom and good luck.

Kelly said...

Wish I had known this a decade ago...

Julie said...

I am amazed at the way that things seem to come into our lives at precisely the moment we need them. I have also survived a "moron" and despite being 5 years in "recovery" (aka divorce), he still tries to exert his control and abuse from time to time (we have a daughter together). The past two days has been horrific and I was just lying in bed not able to sleep, came into my office to clear my head, and came across your blog. It was exactly what the Dr. ordered. Thank you, thank you, thank you for the reminders!

Doreen Lombardo said...

Sometimes all it is is what the moron PERCEIVES as weakness. They often confuse kindness for weakness. Not so. Luckily I wasn't weak, far from it, or he would have been able to control me, which he never was.

Suzie Q said...

And congratulations to you for your courage :)

Suzie Q said...

Here's me waving my flag...yay me !!!!!!

Suzie Q said...

anytime :)
I am here anytime, us survivors need to stick together :)

Suzie Q said...

thank you for your compliments, i am blushing. I hope you are well :)

Suzie Q said...

Ms. Understood, don't underestimate the destruction of emotional abuse, it is deadly too, just a more invisible kind of pain. You should be proud of leaving, you did that, you made the concious effort to do what you had to do to survive. And it is SURVIVAL, only those who have been under the oppression of abuse can truly understand. And that fear can be invoked without the raising of a hand. I am glad you are free.

Suzie Q said...

This Mom, Thank you, and belated Canada Day to you too :)

Suzie Q said...

Nope Natasha, always has been "I Married a Moron - And Survived" :)

Suzie Q said...

Live and learn...and share your stories...that's what I believe :)

Suzie Q said...

Thank you, Miss Natasha Dinosaurist extraordinaire...

Suzie Q said...

Yeah, I think they all share or read a Moron handbook :)

Suzie Q said...

Thank you very much for the award :) It means a lot to me.

Suzie Q said...

Wow, thank you Miss Kelly :) I am a fan of Blue Frogs Legs as well :)

kayK said...

you really nail it.. ah.. hindsight is a beautiful thing - because HE'S OUT of MY LIFE! :D

Suzie Q said...

Congrats :) Onwards and upwards!!!

Pyxi said...

Been with a Gaslighter Moron, not physical abuser, married 10 years.  I'm trying to find the strength and energy to get a job and kick him out. Whenever he senses I'm getting stronger, he pops his little plastic straw in my ear and sucks out all my reserves, smacking his lips as he walks away.... Energy vampire.

Suzie Q said...

The one thing I have learned is that abuse is abuse - no matter the package.
Energy vampire - I like it. Describes them to a T. I hope you have a strong support system - and use them.  That's what they are there for.  I believe you have the strength, you must do what is best for you.  I truly wish you the best, and know that there are others out there who will help you in a heartbeat!

Anonymous said...

Thank you for helping me maintain my sanity! It's really not just me?!?! My moron sucks the life out of me! Your blog will be a valuable resource toward my eventual freedom...

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