Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Life with a Moron - Boundaries

Life with a Moron can be pretty interesting. At times it can be pretty intense. At times it can be downright unbearable. And at times it can be pretty amazing. And that's the catch. There is a reason we fell in love with these suckers to begin with!!! If someone was 100% evil, we could spot them a mile away. Let's face it, even Hitler had to have at least one or two redeeming qualities in him amidst all the psychoness!!

When they are on their upswing, Morons can be the sweetest, most romantic, generous, spontaneous, affectionate human beings on the planet.  It is however that downswing, that kicks you in the ass and reminds you that your life is not all fairy tales and roses. It is more like dodge ball on broken glass, because you are always walking on eggshells around your Moron.

I think one of the reasons I stuck with my Moron is the same reason I am an optimist. (Because let's face it, no other reason I could have stuck around with the loser if I wasn't) I see potential in people very clearly. It's the same way with anything really.  I see great potential in things that others throw out or abandon, broken down houses, unkempt gardens, and apparently lost souls.  And although this is generally a good character trait, here is where it gets me in trouble. When I see the potential ABOVE what is reality, even when it is spitting me in the face. When I am gently trying to coax out that inner potential, within close contact of someone who is bestowing upon me a massive volcanic eruption, and am more worried that the lava will harm them and not me.

Unachieved potential, to me, is one one of the saddest things in this world. I am learning to realize, though, that I can aid and support someone to fulfil their potential, but they have control whether it comes out or not. And I have control of how I will or will not allow someone to treat me. Boundaries. I am learning to place mine, and hold them strong. Once you understand that no one can make you feel anything, you have control over that, it really does shift your way of thinking. Knowing something and understanding something, really are two distinct things.

Boundaries are still difficult for me to establish, but I am getting better at holding them and making them as permeable as I decide. Choice. What a new concept.

13 comments:

viewfromdownhere said...

Yes, this is so true...the morons do have a quality about them that just draws you to them. Charm.

I've struggled with the boundaries thing myself. It's definitely a tough thing to keep up...

denyse dar said...

funny how alike we are Ms. Suzie! LOL I'm always the optimist too

Ms. Understood said...

I so agree with you. I think morons are gifted with charisma. They are able to disarm your loser radar. They also have that "potential" that you just want to help harness, but reality is you can never get someone motivated if they aren't internally motivated.

Kelly said...

You have a great way with words and capacity to exude positivity with such a negative topic. I commend you for your efforts to survive and conquer :)

Natasha said...

Every time I read your blog the lyrics to "I will survive" roll through my head, and that's a good thing! I never married a moron, but I have survived abuse. We are conquerors! Woot!

The Corner Girl said...

Love the title and subject of your blog. I follow you now - I look forward to learning about you and your tales. :)

Tina said...

Dear Suzie Q,

Thank you for signing up to be one of my followers at blogfrog. I am writing you about helping me out with one of my posts at Little Tots Big Ideas. I hope you are interested. Please email me at littletotsbigideas@hotmail.com and let me know how to email you.

I hope to hear from you. I really want to share part of your story with my readers.

Thank you

Tina
Little Tots Big ideas
www.littletotsbigideas.blogspot.com

brandy-son Zen master flash said...

Fantastic blog title! I can't wait to follow now. I married a moron too. Glad it's in the past now!

Mrs4444 said...

I'm glad you found me; I can relate to a lot of this, as I spent a few years working on my issues related to being raised by a moron and having a co-dependent mom for an model of how to choose men. Thankfully, I've come out on the other side. I'm glad you did, too :)

Mrs4444 said...

Forgot to say that this: "Once you understand that no one can make you feel anything, you have control over that, it really does shift your way of thinking." is profoundly wonderful and true.

Christa said...

Suzie Q -
I just found your blog from BlogFrog and I love it! Your title caught me off guard and I had pull it up to see what you were blogging about.

I did marry a moron and did end up getting a divorce from him. Then I ended up marrying a cheater shortly after. I am in the process of filing a divorce from him.

I appreciate your clarity and insight in your writing. I am seeking more clarity and finding my voice so I can share my story in a good way. Thank you for your example!

Sylace said...

I married and divorced two morons. I'm pretty sure that doesn't say much for me. I'm really enjoying your blog. It helps me keep perspective.

Sadie Deshpande said...

I beleived for a long time I realy had to be the only one stupid enough to believe in my moron all this time... so glad to see your blog and all these comments letting me know there are others in the same boat too... Interesting to find out optimists and the 'never-give-up-anyone' types are  especially susceptible in the moron-land! Well I'm still stuck with him because he tells me the only way I can give up on him is to kill him! talk about a devil with a sugar tongue!

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