The birth of my Lil Pixie was not an easy one - though I have heard of far worse. After 24+ hours of labour she was showing signs of stress and my body just didn't want to dilate. I was destined to have an emergency c-section.
If you have never experienced or heard of one it is a strange experience, but I guess the whole birthing thing is rather strange, too. My epidural finally took, and the Moron apparently signed some papers for me, and I was being wheeled down to the OR.
This is what I recall...
There was a sheet draped across my belly, vertically, so I couldn't see what was going on. In fact I couldn't see anyone as they were all down "there" doing what needed to be done. The Moron wanted to leave me and go be there too, but I pleaded with him to stay (he was up by my head) as he was the only person I could see and talk to, and I was scared.
I could feel someone cut into me, in a kind of "T" motion, and then someone rummaging inside me. Then a male exclaimed "I can't find the baby". Which made me kinda worried cuz during an exam earlier a doctor (perhaps the same one?) had proclaimed that he couldn't find my cervix. At this point I was really starting to wonder about the medical staff...
A little bit later I heard a baby cry and a female cried, "it's a girl!". Someone came and plumped a little wrinkled, moving raisin on my right shoulder, and then it and the Moron left. Leaving me alone with this draped sheet, and whoever else was behind it - I could not tell.
Through all of this no one spoke directly to me. Then a male yelled "I can't stop the bleeding, " and the next thing I remember I was all alone, no sheet, in the middle of this very cold room, shivering to death. I don't recall ever being so cold, nor trembling this violently. I could not control it. In what felt like hours, a nurse finally came and place warm towels or something on me - though the shaking did not subside.
I think I went to sleep at one point, rather, drifted unconscious, and when I came to I was being given some sort of pill. With this medication came laboured breathing and some pretty vivid hallucinations. I vaguely remember meeting a baby - but demanding the Moron to bring me the right one as mine had blue eyes and blond hair. This black haired, black-eyed Eskimo looking baby was not mine and she had been switched!
More pills were given to me, which sent my heart racing and further trouble breathing. I felt like I was suffocating and was convinced I was dying. The nurses laughed at me. My heart started to slow down - really s-l-o-w. They said I was a drama Queen and that everything was fine. I felt my life force draining away.
I felt like I was treading water as fast as I could but could barely keep my head above water. I didn't think I was going to make it. I had just given birth to this beautiful Lil Pixie - and I wouldn't be able to watch her grow.
Frantically I grabbed the Moron and tried to tell him everything I wanted him to know about her growing up, how to care for her, how to love her, how to protect her, her first words, her first steps, her first period, her first date, her wedding...
I was then given more pills, and the sensation of dying came stronger.
One young nurse, just coming on to shift, came in to see me. I was crying and implored her to take care of my baby. She left. Turns out she went to her medical books. Turns out I was having an allergic reaction to the meds they had given me. She quickly came in with some Doctors and pumped me full of something to reverse the affects.
An emergency cesarean, 2 blood transfusions, 12 hour allergic reaction to the medication (and in their wisdom, a second dose of it) and 2 days after the Lil Pixie was born, I was able to finally "be" with her. She was the most beautiful little shriveled raisin I had ever seen. And I swore I would protect her with my life. I was going to give her father, the Moron, one year to be a good father. I felt I owed her that much, a chance to have a family, everybody wants that. The Moron had love in him, afterall, I had loved him for a reason.
And then there were three...