Looking back at my life, I notice many of my strengths and weaknesses over time. Many of what I may consider my strengths some may consider a weakness - but it is my opinion that matters.
I have many strengths, and one of them is my own strength. This is something to which for some reason is always downplayed. Mostly by me.
I feel stronger than I have been in a long, long time, and not only physically (and I have my kickboxing to thank for that) but emotionally too. Yet the woman I envision, still is in the distance. Which is good, because where would we be if we didn't have to reach for our goals?
This year I plan to draw on that strength, and own it. For so many years I was living from a place of FEAR. I think it's about time that I live from a place of STRENGTH. And that is what I am choosing to focus on this year. My strength.
Have you picked a word for 2012?
Surviving abuse and everything else life throws at me...
Showing posts with label strength. Show all posts
Showing posts with label strength. Show all posts
Monday, January 30, 2012
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
My line in the sand...
The morning after, the Moron went to work, and I caught myself feeling weightless and hopeful, but life had taught me otherwise. It wasn't that hard, I was waiting for the other shoe to drop...
When the Moron came home from work that night, he acted as if everything was fine. As if nothing had happened. In the Moron's world, apparently life had reset itself and nothing had changed. In my world, however, everything had changed, and I wasn't about to go back to my old life. This was my line in the sand.
I calmly told him he had to move out. To which he refused. But I had inticipated this, and packed up the Lil Peanut and a few things and we were out the door and off to my sister's place (about 45 minutes away). There was no way I was living another minute with him. And I wasn't about to give him a chance to stop us.
My line in the sand had been drawn - and I was determined to make it stick. I felt this yearning for more. For better. I wanted more, deserved better, and dammit the Lil Pixie was going to have better. The 9 months of her growing inside me, as well as the year of her life, had strenghthened me. Instilled a hope of more for us, provided a light for the me I dared to dream, for the me I once was. To become my own happy ending. This was my line in the sand, and if I crossed it, I would have nowhere else to go. Nowhere but down. And I wanted more.
Something awoke in me, and I wasn't about to let it lie. My line in the sand is what held me strong in my fight.
When the Moron came home from work that night, he acted as if everything was fine. As if nothing had happened. In the Moron's world, apparently life had reset itself and nothing had changed. In my world, however, everything had changed, and I wasn't about to go back to my old life. This was my line in the sand.
I calmly told him he had to move out. To which he refused. But I had inticipated this, and packed up the Lil Peanut and a few things and we were out the door and off to my sister's place (about 45 minutes away). There was no way I was living another minute with him. And I wasn't about to give him a chance to stop us.
My line in the sand had been drawn - and I was determined to make it stick. I felt this yearning for more. For better. I wanted more, deserved better, and dammit the Lil Pixie was going to have better. The 9 months of her growing inside me, as well as the year of her life, had strenghthened me. Instilled a hope of more for us, provided a light for the me I dared to dream, for the me I once was. To become my own happy ending. This was my line in the sand, and if I crossed it, I would have nowhere else to go. Nowhere but down. And I wanted more.
Something awoke in me, and I wasn't about to let it lie. My line in the sand is what held me strong in my fight.
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