Do Morons Bear Morons?

This is a question that I have been pondering for some time now.  Being the mom of a little one, and her daddy is a Moron - does that give her greater chance of being one, or choosing one for herself?

Abuse is often the gift that keeps on giving.  You are what you know, and you act out what is familiar to you.

I had a counsellor once tell me that it took 5 generations to break the cycle of abuse. Five. Wow, my Lil Pixie doesn't have a chance...

I'd like to think that I have learned so much about abuse Morons and myself in the process, and am providing her with better tools to make better decisions than I did.  I'd like to think that I am emulating a life of a stronger, more confident, more aware woman.  One that will never be oppressed or be a victim, again.

Perhaps this is just the old nature versus nurture question, dressed up in different clothes...

One of my favourite sayings is; when we know better, we do better.

But must we learn from our own mistakes?  Can we learn from others, as well?

As a mother I can only hope that I will provide my child with a firm foundation so that she can make good, solid decisions for herself.  In the end, that is all any mother can hope for.

On the other side of the coin, is the Moron the result of bad parenting?  Is abuse a role that was played in his life that he emulated?  And at what point does he take on the responsibilities of his own actions - despite his upbringing?

These are just a few of the things that are rolling around in my head tonight, as I fight sleep - more, sleep fights me!

What are your thoughts on the subject?

DO Morons bear Morons?  I would totally love to hear what you feel on all or some of the above...

Roller Coaster Ride

Living with my Moron was like a roller coaster ride, although the price for the ride was high, at times it almost cost me my life.

In real life I have always preferred the old, rickety, wooden roller coaster rides. The ones that really rock you about, and twist and turn and shake you in your seat. In my private life I thought I wanted less drama than that. I was under the impression that I wanted my fairytale romance. Problem is, the romance that is shown to us from fairy tales, and Hollywood always seem to involve drama.

The BIG kiss, the fight that almost broke them apart, the huge misunderstanding as a result of the meddling best friend, the ultimate epic romance. These are the images and stories we are blasted with from the time of our conception, and they get linked into our psyche, and can be hard to interpret. Especially when you have a Moron taking you on a roller coaster ride with all the highs and lows, and drama you could imagine.

After all, aren't you supposed to stand by your man? Isn't your prince supposed to rescue you from the fiery dragons, and fight for you against all odds? Doesn't passion mean the explosion and fireworks and doesn't all of that equal love?

It has taken me 30 some odd years to figure out the true meaning of love, and that love exists also in the quiet times..."Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres" (Corinthians 13:4-8).

Perhaps the next time I will stick to the roller coaster rides at the amusement parks, and seek true partnership and love found in my much enlightened view of true love. How about you?

More Morons in This World Than Needed

Check out our poll below, a little disturbing, but probably closer to being representative of our population then we would like to think.

HAVE YOU EVER DATED A MORON?

Violence against women is a serious issue in this world. This does not even take into account emotional abuse, which often goes undetected to those around the victim, as there are no bruises or physical evidence, only emotional scarring - that often takes longer to heal. Here are a few facts that may shock you (from the Canadian Women's Foundation):

• Half of Canadian women (51%) have experienced at least one incident of physical or sexual violence since the age of 16.
• Every minute of every day, a Canadian woman or child is being sexually assaulted.
• One to two women are murdered by a current or former partner each week in Canada.
• Spousal violence makes up the single largest category of convictions involving violent offences in non-specialized adult courts in Canada over the five-year period 1997/98 to 2001/02. Over 90% of offenders were male.
• Thirty-six percent of female victims of spousal violence and less than 10% of victims of sexual assault reported these crimes to the police in 2004.
• Physical and sexual abuse costs Canada over $4 billion each year (factoring into account social services, criminal justice, lost employment days and health care interventions).
• Violence against women occurs across all ethnic, racial, religious, age, social and economic groups. Some women are more vulnerable however, and are more likely to experience violence, including women with disabilities, geographically-isolated women, young women and Aboriginal women.
• Women are five times more likely to fear for their lives as a result of spousal violence: the violence or threat of violence was so severe that 38% of women feared for their lives compared with 7% of men.
• Violence against women affects children. Every year in Canada, up to 360,000 children are exposed to domestic violence.
• For children who are exposed to violence, consequences can include emotional trauma, depression, injury and permanent disability, as well as other physical, psychological and behavioural problems that can extend into adolescence and adulthood.
• Some victims never tell anyone about the abuse: they may feel ashamed or embarrassed, or fear being stigmatized by others.
• She may be reluctant to report the abuse to the police, either because she fears retaliation, does not believe that involving the criminal justice system can help, or fears losing her children.
• Shelters for abused women do more than provide emergency housing and food for women and their children: they offer counseling and support to help women rebuild their lives, programming for children who have witnessed violence to help them heal, legal advice, and assistance finding affordable housing. Many shelters also raise awareness in their communities about domestic violence.
• The cost of operating shelters for abused women in Canada totals more than $135 million each year. Shelters play a critical role in stopping violence against women, but are only part of the solution. Support for women involves a wide range of services and programs that both prevent abuse (e.g. teaching youths about healthy relationships) and help abused women rebuild their lives after violence.

Scary stuff. Good news is that we can affect change. We can educate our daughters, mothers, sisters, grandmothers, and granddaughters. Education truly is key. I believe in the power of change. I believe in the power of people I believe in myself. I am proof that through understanding, counselling, perseverance, and self-love, healing can occur, and the cycle of abuse can be stopped.

Help stop this vicious cycle. You too can do your part. Abuse is more prevalent than you think. It takes on all sorts of moronic forms. Help rid this world of abusive moronic behaviour, and make it a safer place for us all to live.

Check out the moron cures to the side for some information, or contact your local women's shelter/centre.