Lots and love and Merriness being sent from this blog to you :)
I wish everyone a Merry Moronfree Christmas, and a Moronless New Year!!
Surviving abuse and everything else life throws at me...
Sunday, December 25, 2011
Friday, December 9, 2011
Family Court Support Worker Initiative
Have you heard about the great new program that is currently in effect in Ontario? Great news for victims of domestic violence, the Ministry of the Attorney General is funding a pilot project of Family Support Workers in most family court jurisdictions across Ontario. These specialized workers will provide assistance to victims by means of information about the family court process, aiding in the documentation of the history of abuse for the court, referrals to specialized services and supports in the community, help with safety planning related to court appearances, and aaccompanying victims to court proceedings, where appropriate.
So for those of you who are at any point of the family court process, and reside in Ontario, do look these folks up, as it is their job to help YOU! At a time when your world is a mess, someone who can help you to navigate the court system is sure a welcomed beacon. Speaking from experience, court can be an extremely dis-empowering and traumatic venture. I say good on the McGuinty Government for making a positive change and perhaps some domestic violence enlightenment to those professionals within our court system.
Have you heard of this project? Are there similar ones in your community? What are your thoughts?
So for those of you who are at any point of the family court process, and reside in Ontario, do look these folks up, as it is their job to help YOU! At a time when your world is a mess, someone who can help you to navigate the court system is sure a welcomed beacon. Speaking from experience, court can be an extremely dis-empowering and traumatic venture. I say good on the McGuinty Government for making a positive change and perhaps some domestic violence enlightenment to those professionals within our court system.
Have you heard of this project? Are there similar ones in your community? What are your thoughts?
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Roses are Red
Roses are red
Morons are green
I've learnt my lesson from mine
Now I can truly be me.
Victim no more
Courageous by some
Inner strength and determination
This girl has won.
Scars born of fear
Victory of might
Abusers beware
They will be brought into the light.
Silence may be golden
it can also be deadly
Break the cycle and soar
get your feathers ready...
Morons are green
I've learnt my lesson from mine
Now I can truly be me.
Victim no more
Courageous by some
Inner strength and determination
This girl has won.
Scars born of fear
Victory of might
Abusers beware
They will be brought into the light.
Silence may be golden
it can also be deadly
Break the cycle and soar
get your feathers ready...
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Rewards From Following Through...
Remember when I mentioned upon meeting my old boss for the very first time, he reminded me so much of the Moron? Well, I couldn't have been more on the money. I'll give you a very quick rundown on the situation. I was hired to replace a manager at a retail store. That would seem fairly simple enough, except there was all these weird things going on, such as I had to be in to open the store 1/2 hour early (but wasn't paid for it) and close (again couldn't write it down on time sheet), six of us during the day used the same till - but it was only counted at beginning of shift and at the end, we weren't paid for Stat holidays... and the list went on.
Being a single mom in an economy that is, well lets just say less than booming, I dearly needed the money, but I had decided that if I let another person take advantage of me again - without standing up for myself, then I hadn't learnt my lesson.
I talked numerous times with my supervisor, then finally after a month of no headway, told her if things did not change I would have no recourse except to go to the labour board. I was fired the next day with charges of theft and fraud of the company, and since I was there for under 3 months I was told he could do so without cause. He presented me with a letter in which it stated I was resigning as a result of my acknowledgement of theft and fraud and that I would not go after my employer nor his company for any monies owing now or in the future, and that if I did not sign the police would be called. I did not sign, gave back the keys, and left.
I ended up following through and going to the labour board with all the original charges of incorrect stat holiday pay, and reprisal on top of that. 10 months later, a tribunal was held where my employer brought forth 4 current employees that lied and stated that I stole merchandise and came in late constantly. Here's the thing though, he had no proof (because it never happened), and moreover when the witnesses were questioned, their stories not only did not match up, but no one stated that they actually saw me take any merchandise.
My former employer was told that the burden of proof rested on him under the Act to disprove the claim of reprisal. In such the rules of evidence applied, and a current employee has more to gain in statements where they are for the employer as they have more likely a fear of losing their job. No hard evidence was provided, except for ironically, he actually presented the letter which he attempted to get me to sign, and he in fact helped me in ways he at that time could not imagine....
With the presentation of that letter, not only did he corroborate my side of the story, but he hung himself in the process....just like the Moron. Give them enough rope, and they will hang themselves...
They are so hellbent on getting you back, and believe in their own little crazy world what they are doing is right, that they fail to see how intimidating and just plain wrong their actions are and will be perceived to be.
Today I received the written decision. I cannot tell you the joy that I feel after reading the 20 page document!!!! Not only does it make the employer appear to be an intimidating bully, but it awards me with a rather large, hefty settlement :) One that I truly had no idea would be even part of the equation. So nice to see the little guy win once in awhile, even nicer to be the little guy that wins :)
Merry Freaking Early Christmas to me :)
Being a single mom in an economy that is, well lets just say less than booming, I dearly needed the money, but I had decided that if I let another person take advantage of me again - without standing up for myself, then I hadn't learnt my lesson.
I talked numerous times with my supervisor, then finally after a month of no headway, told her if things did not change I would have no recourse except to go to the labour board. I was fired the next day with charges of theft and fraud of the company, and since I was there for under 3 months I was told he could do so without cause. He presented me with a letter in which it stated I was resigning as a result of my acknowledgement of theft and fraud and that I would not go after my employer nor his company for any monies owing now or in the future, and that if I did not sign the police would be called. I did not sign, gave back the keys, and left.
I ended up following through and going to the labour board with all the original charges of incorrect stat holiday pay, and reprisal on top of that. 10 months later, a tribunal was held where my employer brought forth 4 current employees that lied and stated that I stole merchandise and came in late constantly. Here's the thing though, he had no proof (because it never happened), and moreover when the witnesses were questioned, their stories not only did not match up, but no one stated that they actually saw me take any merchandise.
My former employer was told that the burden of proof rested on him under the Act to disprove the claim of reprisal. In such the rules of evidence applied, and a current employee has more to gain in statements where they are for the employer as they have more likely a fear of losing their job. No hard evidence was provided, except for ironically, he actually presented the letter which he attempted to get me to sign, and he in fact helped me in ways he at that time could not imagine....
With the presentation of that letter, not only did he corroborate my side of the story, but he hung himself in the process....just like the Moron. Give them enough rope, and they will hang themselves...
They are so hellbent on getting you back, and believe in their own little crazy world what they are doing is right, that they fail to see how intimidating and just plain wrong their actions are and will be perceived to be.
Today I received the written decision. I cannot tell you the joy that I feel after reading the 20 page document!!!! Not only does it make the employer appear to be an intimidating bully, but it awards me with a rather large, hefty settlement :) One that I truly had no idea would be even part of the equation. So nice to see the little guy win once in awhile, even nicer to be the little guy that wins :)
Merry Freaking Early Christmas to me :)
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Insecurities and Gifts from Pain
Hello everyone, feels like eons since I have been back here. Funny how life takes you on its own little journeys, and forces you to face things.
Insecurities.
Insecurities.
We all have them. They are in all of us, that little voice inside us that tells us we aren’t good enough, that we shouldn’t even try. And if we listen to that voice, we hold ourselves back from taking a chance and we deny the outcome of seeing what we are truly capapble of. We are in essence, living in fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of failure, fear of hope for what may be….
Life's ups and downs may never fully reveal to us the true meaning of their intentions. But if we fail to take what lessons we learn, then they are only that, just major downers in our life. Sometimes what is learnt is a gift - despite the pain or perhaps because of it. The gift that lies waiting for us is growth. It is the gift of change. That something good comes from all the pain.
When a crisis hits, when our world is turned upside down, when we are afraid, will we have the strength and the wisdom to welcome that gift with open arms? Will we have the courage to face our insecurities and allow ourselves to be?
Sometimes the things we don't expect, didn’t ask for – are the best things that happen to us. May we have the wisdom and courage to accept them.
Monday, October 31, 2011
Happy MoronFree Halloween
Moving into another Halloween I am reminded of Halloweens gone past...
I can remember the very first Halloween with the Lil Pixie, she would have been about 10 months old. She had the cutest little lion costume, you know the store bought ones with the paw booties. The Moron took her out that night - not trick or treating, but to a haunted house!!! Yep, the Moron is indeed a smart parent and decided to give her nightmares at the beginning of her life.... Mind you this is also the insightful parent who brought the wee one to drag car racing as well - because we know that all that noise is really good for a newborn's ears.
Let's face it, a Moron makes decisions based on what is best for himself - regardless on how it affects those around him. All I can say is thank goodness his decision making is only limited to his access. Although, that didn't stop him from taking our 3 yr old out shooting guns.... and just so you know, there is no laws against that... And I am not against guns, per se, but you have to take into consideration the teacher here. One who has never viewed safety as being a priority, nor believes that the law regarding the storage of guns needs to be upheld.
Anyways, I can only hope that someone else is looking out for the Lil Pixie when she is in her Father's care, because the law sure isn't!
And for those interested, This Ninja now has a very wicked roundhouse kick :)
Happy Moronfree Halloween Everyone, what are YOU dressing up as today?
I can remember the very first Halloween with the Lil Pixie, she would have been about 10 months old. She had the cutest little lion costume, you know the store bought ones with the paw booties. The Moron took her out that night - not trick or treating, but to a haunted house!!! Yep, the Moron is indeed a smart parent and decided to give her nightmares at the beginning of her life.... Mind you this is also the insightful parent who brought the wee one to drag car racing as well - because we know that all that noise is really good for a newborn's ears.
Let's face it, a Moron makes decisions based on what is best for himself - regardless on how it affects those around him. All I can say is thank goodness his decision making is only limited to his access. Although, that didn't stop him from taking our 3 yr old out shooting guns.... and just so you know, there is no laws against that... And I am not against guns, per se, but you have to take into consideration the teacher here. One who has never viewed safety as being a priority, nor believes that the law regarding the storage of guns needs to be upheld.
Anyways, I can only hope that someone else is looking out for the Lil Pixie when she is in her Father's care, because the law sure isn't!
And for those interested, This Ninja now has a very wicked roundhouse kick :)
Happy Moronfree Halloween Everyone, what are YOU dressing up as today?
Sunday, October 16, 2011
A few words of wisdom...
The first step toward success is taken when you refuse to be a captive of the environment in which you first find yourself. by Mark Caine
Things don’t go wrong and break your heart so you can become bitter and give up. They happen to break you down and build you up so you can be all that you were intended to be. Charles Jones
None who have always been free can understand the terrible fascinating power of the hope of freedom to those who are not free. Pearl S. Buck
You teach others how to treat you. Dr. Phil
Abuse survivors ain't no thang but a chicken wing!!! Suzie Q
Things don’t go wrong and break your heart so you can become bitter and give up. They happen to break you down and build you up so you can be all that you were intended to be. Charles Jones
None who have always been free can understand the terrible fascinating power of the hope of freedom to those who are not free. Pearl S. Buck
You teach others how to treat you. Dr. Phil
Abuse survivors ain't no thang but a chicken wing!!! Suzie Q
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