Well we bought the house together. Funny that I say WE, because it was actually my large amount of dollars that was put towards the down payment. Funny that I say WE, because that was the problem, there was never actually a WE. There was a me, a dwindling me, but a me nonetheless. There was a him, and he just kept getting meaner and more power hungry, another little foible to add to the long list.
I kept making excuses for him, the new responsibility of the house, he had a stressful day, the list was endless. I never heard the end of it how he worked so hard, and all I did was take, take, take. So I took on more work. I had three jobs. I averaged about 120 hours a week - but never even close to earning the same amount of pay as he did. Therefore what I contributed wasn't equal. For someone who was so unmaterialistic, I sure was focused on money. But the funny thing was, not for me. We still had separate bank accounts, and I had no real insight to what was coming and going. Because I was NOT a money oriented person, it wasn't important to me how much was coming in. He had financial control of everything. And I was OK with that because I blindly trusted him. When you could never perceive to deceive someone a certain way, the thought never enters your mind. Perhaps one of my little foibles, I gave trust where it should have been earned.
But I had the house, and my prince (so what if he had a foible or two...), and I wasn't afraid of a little (or a lot) of hard work. I just ploughed away at the work, in hopes that the rest of my dreams would come true. This is what happens when you have the misguided notions of someone elses happiness. Or trying to fit a little girl's dreams into a woman's fantasy. Make believe and reality often don't mix, and sometimes you don't get your happily ever after...
